Before my husband and I were married, I felt sure the Lord would give us only daughters. I come from a family of two girls. Our home was relatively calm and quiet. And I am certainly a person who likes things calm and quiet. Noise and excessive activity drove me nuts! Well, the Lord knew I needed to grow and be "stretched" and so He gave us three boys before we had our two girls ( I have learned since then that not all little girls are calm and quiet. I have proof of that right here in my own home!). Little boys like to run. They like to wrestle. They like noisy activities. As I was writing this paragraph, one of them came up behind me, grabbed me and said, "Gotcha!" And you know what? I would not trade my three precious, little boys for anything! They are such a source of great joy in my life.

All three of our boys have definite boyish traits but they also each have their own unique strengths and weaknesses. One of our sons is kind, compassionate, spiritually mature and usually eager to obey and please Dad and Mom. However he struggles with taking the time to do his best in school work and chores. Another son is very inquisitive. He is sweet and loving. He is always giving me a hug and saying "I love you, Mommy." His struggles lies in the area of worry and fear. A third son is full of energy, nearly always cheerful and very bright. He struggles with self-control. 

Even though each boy is different, my husband and I have the same goals for each of them. In fact, I have these goals written out on a paper in my Bible case to be reminded of them often. We want our sons to be strong men of courage who will dare to stand on Biblical principles in a world that does not believe in "absolute truth". We want our sons to be gentlemen. We want them to be godly leaders. We want them to submit to authority. We want them to have a servant's heart. If the Lord blesses them with a wife and children, we want them to be loving husbands and fathers who have the ultimate goal of seeing the spiritual growth of their families.

As I wrote that last paragraph I thought, "Oh my, we have a long way to go!" How do we help our sons to reach these goals? My husband and I are still learning and growing but we do have some clear Biblical teachings that help us in this area. We know that children are to be obedient (Ephesians 6) to their parents and so we work on teaching our children obedience. Parents are also commanded to "train" their children "in the way they should go". There are many other biblical mandates and principles about parenting. 

Now for the practical side of this: To train our children, we must spend time with them on a regular basis. We are firm believers in "quality AND quantity time". We also strive for "first time obedience". We also try to teach our sons (and daughters) why we expect what we do from them so we usually give them the biblical or practical reason why. However, other times we expect them to obey us simply because we are their parents and the Bible commands them to obey us. God does not always tell us "why" He expects certain things from us. We also make certain comments as we go throughout the day such as, "Be a gentleman. Open the door for your sister." or "Even though your brother called you a name, make sure you are still kind to him. Do not return evil for evil." Oh and, little boys need to learn that at times they DO have to be calm and quiet!

It is encouraging to see glimpses of the values we are trying to instill in our sons. When our son who rushes through his school work to move on to "more important" things hands me a neat handwriting paper in which he obviously did his best, it is encouraging. When our son who struggles with fear and worry is brave enough to go to the basement by himself to get a toy, it is encouraging. When our son who struggles with self-control sits quietly and still through an hour and a half church service, it is encouraging.

On a side note, I have learned that boys though boys can be active and noisy, they are much more than that. When they bring me a flower, give me a spontaneous hug, offer to help their Dad or me, comfort their sibling, draw me a picture, or be kind to a less than kind neighbor child, it shows me that little boys can also be kind and compassionate. These are also qualities I wish to see in my sons.

Being a Mom to sons is an amazing responsibility. When I look at our three sons, I see the next generation of spiritual leaders. They, like Noah, will live in a world that is very wicked. I pray that, like Noah, they will have the courage to stand alone with God instead of together with the world. I pray that they will be "light in the darkness". As I write this, the three boys are wrestling. It is not calm and quiet! Have I learned to enjoy lots of activity and lots of noise? No. But I sure do love active, noisy little boys!

If you feel it would be an encouragement or a blessing to someone, you have the Stilwell's permission to forward this article in its entirety. They just ask that you include this note at the bottom of the article with their name and e-mail address (Jeff and Kim Stilwell, jkstilwell@juno.com) in case someone wishes to contact them. Thank you.

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