Priority #2:  Your Spouse

by Anne Elliott, September 13, 2002

There must be a secret to a good marriage, don't you think?  Why else do some couples live together in harmony while others just exist -- or even die away?  

Well, marriage is certainly hard work for everyone.  But I know marriage can work and even be really great!  Why?  Well, I've experienced it, but I base my assurance on what God's Word says.  You see, the Bible has two fabulous secrets for marriage.  Since God is the author of marriage (Genesis 2), we can trust His guidance, even though sometimes it's tough to follow.  

The first secret is for the women.  Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."  Yikes!  Don't close this page yet!  This is one of the hardest things for me to do, but I promise you that it has a happy ending.  You see, when I submit, give in to, honor, respect, and even obey my husband, we suddenly have a happy house.  Even when I don't get my own way, I'm always amazed at the peace I have.  

I look at it this way.  God hasn't made men better.  He just gave them the responsibility of leading the family.  Decisions that are made are his responsibility.  So I don't have to worry about being accountable to God for decisions my husband makes.  God just asks me to follow his leadership, even when I don't agree.  

Yes, even when I don't think he's right.  Ephesians 5:24 says the "wives should submit to their husbands in everything."  If I truly believe the Bible, then I must obey what it says.  I'll leave it in God's hands to help it make sense.

I've seen homes where the wife submits, and miraculously, the husband begins to follow the second secret:  "Husbands, love your wives..." (Eph. 5:25).  He now has respect, and that's a first for most guys!  She doesn't cut him down with unkind words, so he can't help but return the love to her.

Hold on, guys!  If you're a husband reading this and your wife hasn't yet begun to submit to you, you're still responsible to love your wife "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." (Eph. 5:25).  How much did Christ love the church?  Enough to give His life for her.  Remember, that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).  No matter how hard it is, on the good days and the bad, God asks you to love your wife unconditionally.

So there you have it -- the two secrets of marriage.  Are they easy?  No!  Do they work?  Yes, they do, but I challenge you to try them.  If you're new to following God's Word, maybe this can be your great experiment.  Put God to the test, and discover the joy of a happy, loving marriage.  

I'd love to chat with you... please feel free to e-mail me!

Learn more about being a good spouse...

Read about Priority #3