Homeschooling my children is one of my favorite things in the world. I enjoy the "one-on-one" interaction with each child. I love seeing the "light bulb" come on when they suddenly understand a concept with which they have struggled. I appreciate the fact that my husband and I have complete control over our children's education and they will not be taught science from the evolution perspective, socialism and other beliefs that are so opposed to God's Word. For our family, homeschooling is a conviction and a way of life. It is doing what we believe is the very best for our children and, even more importantly, it is doing what we know God wants us to do.

However, there are some days when I wonder if we are doing the right thing. Yesterday was one of those days. I had a rough night and overslept so our day got off to a late start. The children started the day by arguing about some trivial thing. Joseph and Josiah, who are doing phonics together, struggled over sounds and simple words they knew perfectly well the day before. Jessica, a perfectionist, became extremely frustrated because her preschool paper was not perfect. My oldest son, Joshua, who I can usually count on to help make the day run smoothly, kept interrupting to ask questions when I was schooling the younger children. All were legitimate school questions but they made teaching the little ones more difficult. As for the toddler, Jennifer, well, I won't even begin to explain how difficult she made the day. She reminds me of the little girl who had the curl right down the middle of her forehead and "When she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was horrid."

Throughout that day questions and doubts overwhelmed me. Would my eight year old son ever learn to read fluently?  Would my oldest son ever grasp long division? Would Jessica ever learn that life as we know it will go on if her "e" is not perfect? Would my Josiah ever learn to sit still for over five minutes?

Other doubts plagued me as well. Was I qualified to educate these children? Would their lives as adults be handicapped because I had failed to educate them properly? Was I really qualified to educate these little ones who God has entrusted into my care? Should I be more relaxed with the children in their school work? Or should I expect more of the them?

By the end of the day, four of us had been in tears. For a few brief minutes, I was actually ready to commit the unpardonable sin of homeschooling: sending them down the road on that yellow school bus to that brick building called "public school."

I am happy to say that a pep talk from my husband, some time in prayer and some sleep took care of 90% of my doubts and fears. Thankfully, days like this don't happen too often. When they do happen, it helps greatly if I keep things in perspective. It helps me to view our homeschool endeavor from God's Perspective.

BE FAITHFUL: First of all, God has simply called me to be faithful. It is my responsibility to teach my children. I teach them to the best of my ability. I try to be creative. I work hard at seeing what methods work best for each child. With a few exceptions (such as a beautiful 70 degree day in the middle of February) every week day, whether we feel like it or not, we pull out books and notebooks and have school. Sometimes, in spite of all of this, one (or more) of my children are simply not grasping a particular concept. It can be very discouraging. However, my job is simply to be faithful in teaching them. It is not my job to worry (though I confess I do at times). It is not my job to go into a panic and fret and dwell on what I think might happen in the future (Will this child read by his eighteenth birthday?). A quote by Thomas J. Jackson explains exactly what I am trying to convey, "Duty is ours; consequences are God's." It is my duty to diligently and faithfully teach my children. The consequences are God's. 

MAINTAIN A SWEET SPIRIT: "I will never raise my voice to my children!" I said to a friend shortly before the birth of my oldest son, fully believing I meant it. My friend, homeschooling mother of three, just smiled and said nothing. Well, though I certainly am not a mom who "yells" at my children on a regular basis, on days like the one I talked about at the beginning of the article, there are times when I have indeed, "raised my voice to my children." However, one goal I strive for while home educating my children is to maintain a sweet spirt. Not only is having a sweet spirit biblical but I have noticed that when my spirit is sweet, my children are much more apt to have a sweet spirit as well. So, even after I have explained the same division problem five times in five different ways and my son still does not understand it, I try to keep my attitude and my voice sweet. 

BE PATIENT: My children, like myself, each struggle with character traits. One of them often sins in the area of anger. Another struggles with laziness. My children also each struggle in different areas academically. One struggles with reading. One struggles with math. They have all struggled with handwriting. As my husband and I work with our children in these areas each day, it often seems like there is no improvement. However, when we think back several months, we see definite signs of improvement. Our child who struggles with anger used to lose his temper several times a day. Now he loses his temper two or three times a week. Our oldest son whose handwriting could only be described as illegible two years ago, now has a nicer print than I do and his cursive is improving each day. 

DISCIPLINE FIRST: I have noticed when we have a terrible day, like the one I mentioned earlier, I have been lax in disciplining the children for disobedience. On those days I tend to expect second or third time obedience instead of first time obedience. I have learned, no matter how "important" an activity I am involved with, discipline must come first. If I tell one child to pick up his toys while I am working on math with another child, and then I notice he has not obeyed, I must stop the math lesson and deal with the disobedience. Character must come before academics. This is a hard thing for me to do. 

Once we are involved in school, I like to keep going so we can stay on schedule. If I have to take time out for a 15 minute discipline session, we will be behind all day. However, when my child is 20, what will have mattered? Will it matter that on some school day back in 2003 we were behind all day. No. But it will matter that I have not taught my child to obey and respect authority, to be kind to others and to be diligent in his work.

REMIND YOURSELF OF THE POSITIVE: On one really bad school day, I decided to sit down and make a list of what I liked about homeschooling. The list was much longer than I anticipated (42 reasons) and made me realize how blessed we are for the opportunity to homeschool. It also helps me to think about the positive aspects of each of my children. My son who is more active than all his siblings combined also has a cheerful personality, which is far more pleasant than a whiny one. My daughter who wants everything perfect is my little "right hand girl" when it comes to helping around the house. My son who is having trouble learning to read has a very sweet personality. I get lots of hugs from him each day. 

"So, all you have to do to be successful in homeschooling is be faithful, maintain a sweet spirit, be patient, discipline first and remind yourself of the positive." Okay, okay, if someone else wrote a sentence like that my thoughts would be something along the lines of "Yeah, right!" It is a tall order and I certainly don't do all those things like I should. However, those are worthy goals and certainly do improve the atmosphere of our homeschool. God bless you as you home educate your children.

Recommended Reading: "Homeschooling With A Meek and Quiet Spirit" by Terri Maxwell

If you feel it would be an encouragement or a blessing to someone, you have the Stilwell's permission to forward this article in its entirety. They just ask that you include this note at the bottom of the article with their name and e-mail address (Jeff and Kim Stilwell, jkstilwell@juno.com) in case someone wishes to contact them. Thank you.

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