Learning to Trust the Lord

by LaNel Davenport, July 3, 2004

This was written In response to a letter LaNel had received several days earlier...

LaNel, please pray that I will get the answer that I am in waiting for -- for so long now, from the Lord.  As I told you before, my family and I have been trying to move to be near my family for six months now, and I am feeling rather hopeless.  We have been living paycheck to paycheck ever since my husband got laid-off in January, and I am beginning to feel like I can't catch my breath.  I literally feel as though I am drowning....

Dearest Friend,

What a difficult situation your family is in.  I know how you feel.

Really, I do.

My husband got laid off in August, of 2001 (yes, that's three years ago.)  He was in the IT bust.  He searched for another IT or related job for over a year (sent out hundreds of resumes) and only got two interviews -- neither of which amounted to anything.  He finally gave up looking for IT jobs.  He's been doing home repair on his own as the opportunities come up.

At first, my dh would say things like, "Well, we can make it through the first of the year..." and the first of the year came and went and we weren't homeless or starving.  Then he said, "Well, we can make it through a couple more months..." and several months went by and we were still not homeless or starving.  Pretty soon it was more like, "Well, I don't know how we are going to make this month's house payment..." but somehow, we have always had the money.

I won't say it's been easy, but I won't say it's been horrible, either.  I have had to come to a place where I realized that GOD is our provider, not my husband, not his job, not insurance, only GOD.  And if I am fraught with worry, I am not trusting God.  It's that simple.

I have had nights where I'd lay in bed at night, wondering how we would ever make it, how we would buy food, how we would get new glasses for several of us, how we would feed and clothe one more, and then two more children... and My Father has whispered in my ear, "Do you trust Me?  Do you really trust Me?"  Do I trust Him?  Enough to quiet the worried voice in my mind and go to sleep?  We have been given more food than I can tell you.  We have too many clothes!  Friends gave us money for eye tests and new glasses.

I have had to pray that My Father would keep our children in His hands, to keep them from hurting themselves or getting sick, as we have no insurance.  And He whispers in my ear, "Do you trust Me?  Do you really trust Me?"  And then I have to LEAVE IT IN HIS HANDS.  When the choice is food, shelter or $500 a month for insurance, you pick food and shelter.  With five boys, ages 14 to 5, we have had only ONE trip to the ER.  NO other doctor visits or calls or trips to the hospital have been necessary.  Guess how much a broken arm costs?  About one month's house payment (that's ALL!  And the lessons learned by the 14yob who broke his arm have been priceless!).

Sometimes I wonder, "Will this never end?  Will we ever go shopping again?  Can I ever get new couches?  How about some slip covers?  Lord, please, I really need a computer table... " and My Father has whispered in my ear, "Delight yourself in ME, and I will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to ME, trust ME, and I will do it" (Psalm 37:4-5, paraphrased).  A dear friend took me shopping for my birthday, and to celebrate a roofing job, my husband bought me slipcovers for my couches.  A friend just two days ago PAID my husband to remove a nice computer cabinet from her home. 

My Father has brought my parents out to live with us after we had our twins.  We've gotten so much accomplished!  My dad loves doing those little odd jobs around the house that my husband is too busy to get to.  My mom has been sewing up a storm and races to change the babies.  My oldest daughter is learning how to cook and make healthy food and keep up a kitchen... we have so much fun together making bread and pies and yogurt.  So much more fun than shopping or eating out.  Sometimes He changes the desires of my heart. 

My Father whispers in my ear, "Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in My law." (Exodus 16:4)  Am I obeying God?  Am I walking in His instruction?  "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Thy statutes.  The law of Thy mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces." (Psalm 119:71-72)  Am I doing what He wills?  Am I seeking Him first?  "Seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness; and all these things (food, drink, clothing) will be added to you."  I'm not perfect by a long shot, but am I practicing???

Dear sister, do not feel hopeless.  Take up your hope in the Almighty God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  The God who parted the Red Sea.  The God who destroyed the walls of Jericho.  The God who used a boy to kill a giant.  The God who raised the widow's son from death.  The God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.   The God who moved someone to buy us a (much needed!) brand new bed.  The God who so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son.... HE'S the One who will take care of your needs.

Trust and obey, there's no other way!! ;o)

I know you know all this, I just wanted to remind you! xxxooo

Love, LaNel

Curious about LaNel's family?  Read about God's miraculous answer to prayer here!

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LaNel Davenport describes herself this way:  

LaNel
HB, HS, Ph Q
Domestic Engineer
Providing High-Speed Diaper Networking,
Sibling Compatibility and Education to:
Bobby 14, Katie 12, Nathan 11, Aaron 9, David 7, Nicky 5, Sarah 2, and Hannah and Mary 11 months!

If you'd like to chat with LaNel, you can e-mail her here.