Early in my homeschooling years I would have gone into a long, passionate speech about my views on "socialization." Most of us who homeschool are passionate about it and eager to express our views. However, over the years I have learned to be more tactful. I have learned that "blasting" socialization (the kind of socialization they are probably referring to) is not a good testimony (especially when the person I am talking to has three children in public school!) I should not be "preaching" homeschooling to someone who should be hearing the gospel So, when the nurse asked me the big question that homeschoolers hear the most, "What about socialization?", I responded, "Oh, they are in a Bible Club at church and they play soccer, basketball and flag football." I was honest. She was satisfied with the answer and realized that my children would probably not grow up to be social outcasts. Most important, she still felt friendly enough towards me that if I ever had an opportunity to share the gospel with her she would probably listen.

I am not saying we should compromise on our convictions and beliefs in the area of homeschooling. But often I wonder why we homeschoolers are so adamant about defending our position on homeschooling. Is it because of our conviction this is the Lord's will or is it pride? As I said before, we homeschoolers are passionate about homeschooling. Perhaps we are too easily upset and angered when people question it. Are we as concerned about maintaining a good testimony before the one questioning our right to homeschool as we are about making them see our view on homeschooling?

It is also important to be a godly example to believers who do not homeschool. I find that most nonbelievers are curious and friendly about the fact that we homeschool, though they may have some questions, such as the one about socialization. However, the few downright hostile responses have all come from fellow believers. It is easy for me to tolerate questions and concerns from nonbelievers. But I struggle much more in how to respond to fellow Christians who are less than kind about the fact that we homeschool. In spite of this, I can not allow my feelings to control how I respond. I can not let my pride get in the way of responding in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. I must be kind and gracious...even if they are not. 

People often ask questions such as, "Is it legal?" or "Do you have a teaching degree?" I also find both believers and non believers often "quiz" my children with questions such as "What letter is that?" and "What is this word?" This really used to "get my dander up," especially when they asked my child who struggles more in school. Now I just smile politely, whether my child responds correctly or not. (I do admit that I try to tactfully change the subject as soon as possible.) I do not need to justify what my children do or do not know. Doing that would be sinful pride on my part. 

On a side note, I do have to smile inwardly at times. For example, one time someone asked my oldest son to read a sentence out of a children's book she just happened to have with her. After he read it, this person looked at me in amazement and said, "He really CAN read!" 

I have been guilty of being a proud homeschooler. One of the things I am most ashamed of is getting into a "debate" with a relative about homeschooling. I couldn't believe she would criticize ME for doing something SO wonderful as homeschooling my children. I was going to "fight tooth and nail" to convince her I was right and she was wrong! I was not arguing with her over concern for her children but I was letting my pride rear its ugly head. Yes, I firmly believe that homeschooling our children is the best choice. Yes, I would go so far as to say that I have convictions against putting my children into school. However, I can not allow these convictions to cause me to be a bad testimony to unbelievers or to behave in an ungodly manner to my sisters in Christ. 

As homeschoolers we represent first our Savior. What others see in us may determine how people see how Lord. However, we also represent homeschooling. What they see in us will probably influence how they judge all homeschoolers. My prayer is that we homeschoolers will represent our Savior first, but also homeschooling, in a good light. 

I should hasten to add that we also receive many positive comments about homeschooling our children. In fact the positive comments far out number the negative ones. The other day, my husband and I took the children to a craft day at our local Botanical Center. Another mom and I began a friendly conversation, sharing the names and ages of our children and other things that moms find to talk about. After a few minutes she said, "Do you homeschool?" I responded, "Yes, how did you know?" She said, "Because you have so many children and because they get along so well." I did not bother to tell her about the fight two of them had on the way there. I just smiled and asked her something about her children. But inwardly I was telling myself, "Now be a humble homeschooler. Don't be proud!"

If you feel it would be an encouragement or a blessing to someone, you have the Stilwell's permission to forward this article in its entirety. They just ask that you include this note at the bottom of the article with their name and e-mail address (Jeff and Kim Stilwell, jkstilwell@juno.com) in case someone wishes to contact them. Thank you.

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