The day our oldest son was born was one of the happiest days of my life. My husband and I had experienced five years of infertility and miscarriages. Our son was born prematurely by emergency c-section. Immediately after he was born there was a stunned silence by the doctor and nurses and my husband turned very pale, but even that did dampen my joy or cause me to even wonder what was wrong. I could hear his little cry and soon the nurse brought him over to me so I could see his dear, sweet little face before they whisked him off to the nursery. Two hours later my husband came to me and gently told me that our son had a birth defect that would require surgeries. However, the kind of birth defect he had would not keep him from having a normal childhood and my husband had been assured that surgeries would correct the problem, so though I hated the thought of my dear little boy going through surgeries, learning of this did not dampen my joy.

The next day, when my husband and I had some time alone, he shared with me that he had sensed that something would be "wrong" with our child. That day in chapel (he was attending a Bible college at the time), the speaker had used the verse in Exodus 4:11, "Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?" Though our son did not have any of these particular birth defects, this verse brought us great comfort. God had made him, birth defect and all, and God's ways are always pure. 

The Lord is so good to us in not allowing us to know the future. If I had known, at his birth, what was in our son's future, I would have been overcome with panic. He did not have the one or two surgeries that were predicted at his birth. He is now eleven years old and has had ten surgeries. He has bounced back quickly from many of his surgeries but some have caused a long painful, recovery. After one of his surgeries, at two years of age, we nearly lost him due to complications. He was in agony for weeks. During this time he also caught pneumonia. (To add to all this, I was seven months pregnant with our next child and had bronchitis.) After each surgery our son has to have a catheter in for at least a week and he is very prone to painful bladder spasms. Unlike most patients that are prone to bladder spasms, medicine does little to help Joshua with his pain.

From a human perspective it may be tempting to ask, "Why? Why my son?" but we have learned not to do this. In so many ways God's has used our son's birth defect for His Honor and Glory. God has allowed us to be a witness to nurses and other patients. The nurses and doctors often comment on our son's sweet, brave nature through all his suffering and we are able to share with them that his relationship with the Lord is what helps him through the painful times.

Recently in our family devotions, my husband read John 9: 1-3, in which the disciples ask Jesus why a certain man is blind from birth. They ask if it is because of his own sin or the sin of his parents. John 9:3 answers this question by saying, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents but that the works of God should be made manifest in him." Immediately I thought of our son and how "the works of God have been made manifest in him". Instead of asking, "Why us? Why my son?", we now say, "Thank you, God, for allowing us to be used for Your Glory."

This is not to say that we have not experienced sad, disappointing and frightening times through all of our son's surgeries. Many people have experienced far greater trials then my family has ever gone through. Even in our worst of times, "the works of God can be manifest through us". Often tragedies bring us closer to God than at any other time in our life, because when we have no one else to turn to for comfort and help, God is still our Great Comforter. 

It is unknown to us if our son will face further surgeries, but God knows and has promised to help us through the trials of life. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. He has proved Himself faithful in the past, and I know we can trust Him with our future.

If you feel it would be an encouragement or a blessing to someone, you have the Stilwell's permission to forward this article in its entirety. They just ask that you include this note at the bottom of the article with their name and e-mail address (Jeff and Kim Stilwell, jkstilwell@juno.com) in case someone wishes to contact them. Thank you.

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