"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And He said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee; for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me" II Corinthians 12:7-9

The above verses have always had a special significance for me. They were especially meaningful during the thirteen years that I dealt with the heartache of infertility, multiple miscarriages and difficult pregnancies. 

Many of my friends and extended family members also experience a "thorn in the flesh." Just off the top of my head I can think of several "thorns" among my loved ones: an unloving spouse, infertility, an adult child who is not living for the Lord, problem pregnancies, being single when they wish to be married, living with chronic physical pain, and many other trials. Most of my friends would gladly give up their individual heartaches. However, most of them have grown through their difficulty and have become "better instead of bitter."

When I think of these verses, the person that always comes to my mind first is my husband. Seven years ago, at age 28, my healthy, strong, energetic husband suddenly became weak and lethargic. Already very thin, he lost 25 pounds in three weeks. A simple finger-poke would have told the doctors what the problem was but he was "too old" to be coming down with juvenile diabetes and "too young" to be coming down with adult-onset diabetes so they did not test him for that (we have since changed doctors). Instead the doctors were testing him for cancer and other very serious illnesses. At the time we had a four year old son and a nine month old son. It was heartbreaking to watch my best friend, the person whom I love most in this world, waste away. It brought me to tears to realize that, if he passed away, our nine month old son would not even remember him.

Eventually he WAS diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. He spent three days in the hospital to get his blood sugar levels under control and to learn to care for himself as a diabetic. He has been diabetic for six years now. He has basically become a "human pin cushion" needing to check his blood sugars and give himself insulin shots several times each day. He must carefully watch his blood sugar levels against the long term dangers of high blood sugar and the short term dangers of low blood sugar. In every activity, his diabetes is something that must always be in the back of his mind. He must constantly ask himself questions like, "Are my sugars too low to go jogging right now?" and "Are my sugars high, should I take a shot before I eat that?" Every time he gets a virus, his blood sugars become very difficult to contol and become dangerously high. Twice, his blood sugars have gotten so low that he didn't know what was going on around him. Once I had to call 911. Perhaps the simplest thing, yet the most difficult, is that he must say "no" to many foods that most of us eat without thought.

When a loved one has a "thorn" it affects the whole family. I mentioned that my husband's diabetes is something that always has to be in the back of his mind. It is also something that is always in the back (or front) of my mind. I am well aware of the fact that an extremely high or low blood sugar level could send my husband into a coma or even death. I am aware of the long term problems a diabetic can have such as blindness, loss of limb or kidney problems. I realize that we have less "chance" than most couples of growing old together. I am constantly relearning not to worry and to trust in the Lord for my husband's future.

At this point my children are blissfully unaware of the dangers of diabetes. They think that taking a shot before a meal is something that daddies do. They know that Mommy needs to give Daddy a 15 minute "warning" before a meal so he can take a shot. My oldest son knows enough to know he is supposed to call 911 if Daddy "acts funny" some time when Mom is not home. 

Yes, my husband's disease is something that is "always with him." However, he does not let his "thorn in the flesh" give him an excuse to sin. He does not lash out at the unfairness of it. He does not use his diabetes as an excuse to be irritable and or unkind to his family. I would be less than honest if I did not say that he has had times of discouragement, especially the first few months after he was diagnosed. However, through the years his diabetes has caused him to lean more on God's strength and less on his own. His diabetes has brought him spiritual growth and maturity.

On occasion I have run into people who almost seem to "enjoy" their "thorn in the flesh." They talk about it so much and their lives revolve around this one aspect of their lives so much that their thorn becomes who they are. When I see that person I think, "There is Betty, who has arthritis" or "There is Thomas, whose father has disowned him." My husband has learned not to let his "thorn in the flesh" define who he is. He sees himself as a believer, a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a friend, a student of God's Word, a church member, an employee, and a soccer player who happens to be diabetic.

Recently a friend of ours was diagnosed with insulin dependent diabetes. My husband has been able to answer many of her questions and calm many of her fears. Though the Lord certainly does not "have" to show us a reason for my husband's diabetes, He has shown us one reason and that is that he is able to help and encourage other diabetics.

I write this article, not to brag on my husband (though I could easily do that!), but to share with you how God has used his "thorn in the flesh." He has been a godly example to me on how to handle life's trials. When I think of his diabetes I realize that God's strength has been made "perfect in weakness." So, while thorns in the flesh are not something we enjoy, God can use them to develop the character of His children. Let us be made better, and not bitter, by our thorn in the flesh.

If you feel it would be an encouragement or a blessing to someone, you have the Stilwell's permission to forward this article in its entirety. They just ask that you include this note at the bottom of the article with their name and e-mail address (Jeff and Kim Stilwell, jkstilwell@juno.com) in case someone wishes to contact them. Thank you.

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