Titus 2:3 -- Behavior As Becometh Holiness

The following is a Bible study posted on our Bible Study Group.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I was very excited when I found out that I would have access to my husband's computer all day today! :-) I'm going to work on getting this Bible study done, even if I am a day early....

Several weeks ago we began talking about characteristics of older, godly women. Let's start going into more detail.

Titus 2:3 says, "The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things" (NKJV).

What does it mean to be "reverent in behavior"? Let me quote from Martha Peace's book, Becoming a Titus 2 Woman.

"The Greek word for reverent is hieroprepeis. It is two Greek words put together to make one word. Heirps means sacred or sacred services. Prepei means proper, to be fitting. Behavior is the word katastema meaning demeanor or behavior or deportment. (Deportment is how you act.) In other words, you behave in a proper manner. The King James Version of the Bible expresses it beautifully, "behavior as becometh holiness" (p. 32).

We were recently watching a special on the History Channel about the Forbidden City in China. The commentator told about the women who would come to the Forbidden City, hoping to be chosen as one of the emperor's queens. (It reminded me of the story of Queen Esther in the Bible.) For over a year, hundreds of women would be trained in the fine arts of royal etiquette and beauty, even though after this huge investment only one woman would be chosen to become the queen. The one chosen was the best example of "behavior that becometh" royalty.

Ladies, as members of Christ's church, we are in training as the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-27). Titus gives many instructions for proper behavior for the church, and we're just peeking at a small sample in Titus 2, specifically directions aimed at how we women should conduct ourselves. Older women have been in "training" longer, so God expects them to already be exhibiting "behavior as becometh holiness."

What are some specific areas in which we women should exhibit holy behavior? I thought of many, but let's first look at three areas Martha Peace mentions in her book: dress, attitude, and actions. 

How should a holy woman dress? Oh, what a heated topic THIS could be! <grin> Let's remember that our motives are most important, as we dress to please our heavenly King. Maybe this would be a good time to read some Scripture:

"...in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works" (1 Timothy 2:9-10).

"...She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple...
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come" (Prov. 31:21-22, 25).

"...Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:3-4).

This last verse is my favorite, because it gets right to the heart of the matter. We should regularly be putting on "a gentle and quiet spirit."

When you dress in the morning, remembering a gentle and quiet spirit really will help you make wise choices in your clothing, make-up, and hair style. It might help you, as it does me, to dress as you also have your Bible open on your bathroom counter, maybe meditating on a Proverb or reading a few chapters as you make your way through the Bible. If we "young women" would begin each day in the Word, critiquing our insides AND outsides and striving to be beautiful (holy) in the Lord's sight, our questions about modesty or whether this or that is "right" to wear would disappear. As my little daughters love to pretend, we really are princesses in training.

In fact, the attitude of a gentle and quiet spirit is the second way we can cultivate holiness. What good does it do to dress modestly if we go out into our homes (or the world) with an unholy attitude?

What if my husband wants to help me with the dishes, but I march into the kitchen and indignantly tell him that he isn't rinsing them right or putting them away in the right way or ___ (fill in the blank)? What if I'm short tempered with my children or ignoring them in favor of my own interests? What if I'm too lazy to clean toilets or mop floors? 

Of course, my attitude eventually affects my actions. Do I have good manners? Am I considerate of others? Am I kind, even when I don't feel like it? Is my speech appropriate? Notice the description of a holy attitude and actions in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

~ Love suffers long and is kind;
~ love does not envy;
~ love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
~ does not behave rudely,
~ does not seek its own,
~ is not provoked,
~ thinks no evil;
~ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
~ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

As I close today's (long) Bible study, I'd like to recommend two secular books that have been very helpful to me in these areas. First, Dale Carnegie has written a classic called How to Win Friends and Influence People. This book is an excellent training for showing proper attitudes and actions toward others. Second is a book called Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin. This book was written several decades ago, but it's helpful for wives who want to apply a "gentle and quiet spirit" in their marriages. Again, neither of these books are by Christian authors, but they are very good nonetheless.

I'd like to give you all some assignments. 

(1) Observe yourself and others and tell us... Is "behavior as becometh holiness" more obvious on the inside or outside? In other words, does your dress show your holiness more than your attitude? Or is your attitude more obvious than your actions? Or are they all equal? (I hope I'm making sense here...)

(2) List some areas of behavior that you need to work on. You can keep this list private, or you can share them with us so we can encourage you (by saying, "Oh, me, too!") and pray for you and keep you accountable. You don't have to limit these areas to the ones I mentioned today.

(3) Target one area you'd like to work on this week (from #2). Find and memorize a verse that will help you. Tell the group! I want to work on Psalm 141:3...

"Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips."

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