Recently I had a very sore throat. Saying even one word would make my throat hurt much worse. Even whispering was painful. I learned many ways to communicate nonverbally with my family. There were the obvious ones such as shaking my head, nodding , the OK sign and the thumbs up sign. I also learned to communicate with them through raised eyebrows ("What?"), pats and hugs ("I love you"), a nod and a smile ("I'm listening. Go on with what you are saying."), folding my hands as in prayer and pointing at one of the children ("It is your turn to pray before lunch."), a stern look (self explanatory), snapping my fingers ("I want your attention."), pointing in my husband's direction ("Go ask Daddy."), and many other ways.

During the time that I could not speak, I really missed being able to sing to my toddler, to read to my children, and to talk to my family. However, I was reminded of several important lessons during this time. 

The most important lesson was the joy of listening to my family. I have considered myself to be a "good listener". However, sometimes, in the past, when my husband or children would talk to me I would jump in with my thoughts or opinions the first time they paused for a breath. During those days when I was literally "speechless" and could only respond with a nod and a smile, I found that they would continue to talk and share their thoughts with me. Since I could no longer interrupt, they were able to share everything that was on their hearts with me.

There are times, especially when it involves our children that we must speak. If one of my children come to me and say, "My brother wrecked my block castle and I am going to get him back for that!", I should obviously do more then nod and smile. However, often, as wives and moms, I think we are often too quick to interject our comments and opinions.

Another thing that I learned while I was "voiceless" was that I have been underestimating my children's ability to work things out when they disagree. In the past I have been quick to jump in and "referee" when they disagree. Though it is necessary to teach out children to work disagreements out in a Biblical manner, I found out that sometimes I need to sit back and see if they have learned what we have taught them. 

Several times, while my throat was so sore, I let the disagreements go on longer then I normally would have simply because it was so painful to talk. To my surprise, several times they reached an agreement on their own. They would say things like, "You use it awhile and then I will use it." and "Mommy, can you set the timer so we can each have it for ten minutes?" and "We will play 'farm' this morning like you want to and then after lunch we will play checkers like I want to." and the most amazing statement of all, "Okay, we'll do it your way". I would love to say that they worked things out on their own EVERY time but that would be less then honest. Still, it was encouraging to see that all of our efforts to teach them to work things out have not been in vain.

Another thing that I noticed was that while I was quieter, the children became quieter. Most people consider me to be a quiet person but it was surprising that the children became quieter when I was quieter. It was amusing to hear them whisper to each other and to me simply because I was whispering. 

Thankfully my throat is much better now but I am thankful for the lessons I learned during my "silent time". This morning my three year old daughter came into the kitchen and said, "I want to be a Mommy when I grow up". At this point she paused and I nearly jumped in to expound on the virtues of motherhood. However, I caught myself and waited to see if she was finished. After a short pause she said, "Yep, I want to be a mommy when I grow up, a mommy just like you". And to think I nearly missed that!

If you feel it would be an encouragement or a blessing to someone, you have the Stilwell's permission to forward this article in its entirety. They just ask that you include this note at the bottom of the article with their name and e-mail address (Jeff and Kim Stilwell, jkstilwell@juno.com) in case someone wishes to contact them. Thank you.

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