The Rod of Correction 

The following is a Bible study posted on our Bible Study Group.

I remember being six or seven years old, sitting on a hard wooden pew in our old church building in Michigan, listening to my father preach on a Sunday morning. The sun would filter through the ancient stained-glass window, and my mind would be carried away like the little dust particles floating in the sunshine. Then I'd hear him quote a verse from Proverbs, like this one: 

"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die" (Proverbs 23:13).

What!?! Yikes! I knew exactly what my dad was talking about! He meant that if I dared sneak off with my friend after the morning service, to get into some kind of forbidden (but oh, so fun) mischief, I would know exactly what to expect when we got home! I was sure he was preaching directly to me, and I'd sink down further into the seat cushion. :-) 

But with all the trouble I got into when I was younger, and with all the "correction" I received, I'm now very thankful that my father (and mother) read and applied the book of Proverbs in our home.

What specifically does Proverbs have to say about HOW to correct our children? Lots! I don't think I'll tire you by listing every verse, but I've found four keys to the practical side of parenting, and I'd like to share them with you.

Key #1: Who Needs Correction?

Proverbs 10:13 (KJV) says that "a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding." Understanding (Strong's #3820) means the feelings, the will, and the intellect. So someone who is lacking in feelings (for others?), in a will to obey, or simply in intellect, or the knowledge of what needs to be done, needs correction. My little Kiersten (age 17 months) doesn't yet know that the kitty litter box isn't a good place to play. She also can't understand my reasoning if I were to stand there and say, "Now, Sweetie, isn't that yucky? Would you like to come and play with a doll instead of those little gray and brown rocks?" No, a swift smack to her bottom sends the perfect message -- YUCK! DANGEROUS! GET OUT! 

Key #2: What Kind of Correction?

I found two types of correction in Proverbs. The first kind is the "rod" (#7626), which simply means a branch. It's obviously a literal object used by a parent to correct a child. In Proverbs 23:13-14, the King James Version uses the word "beat." No, I don't like this word either. It brings up pictures of little children cruelly being abused. Even the Greek for the word means to strike, lightly or severely (#5221).

Proverbs 26:3 helps me understand the concept better: "A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the fool's back" (NKJV). Would a master beat a horse until the horse was lame? No, but he might use a whip to train   young colt. (I've heard it's the noise of the cracking whip that a horse doesn't like.) How about a donkey? If I were to ride a mule down the Grand Canyon's narrow pathways, I'd sure be holding onto that mule's bridle, directing it to STAY on the path! And so it is for the fool's backside. The Bible is not telling us to abuse our children; rather, we are to use a literal rod (stick, branch, "spankin' stick" as it's called in our house) on our little one's backsides -- to train them and to help them learn to "follow our directions." 

A second type of correction found in Proverbs is reproof. "The rod and reproof give wisdom..." (Proverbs 29:15). Reproof (#8433) means correction, refutation, proof (as used in a lawyer's defense), argument, and reasoning. Obviously, it won't do much good to argue or reason with a two-year-old. She is "void of understanding" and needs a gentle rod to learn. However, is a teenager "void of understanding"? No, and I firmly believe that as a child grows in knowledge, we should begin to use "reproof" as our primary means of correction. I've heard it said that as our children approach adulthood, we become more like their coach, standing on the sidelines, cheering them on or warning of the opponent's tactics, as our children learn to tackle life's challenges on their own.

Key #3: When Should We Correct?

First, we should correct when we observe foolishness in our children. Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound (tied) in the heart (feelings, will, and intellect) of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive (shove) it far from him." 

Secondly, we should train a "child." In all of these verses, the word child (#5288) means someone from the age of infancy to adolescence. Since I have four young children, this reminds me that I can start when they are infants! (There's never a better time! Remember the old Charmin commercial, where the little girl stuffed toilet paper in her pants because she knew her mother was coming to spank her? Little ones have built-in "padding" in the form of a diaper! I've found that many spankings at the ages of one and two mean only occasional spankings at the age of five. They also develop a child who is ready to listen and pay attention to me as I start to "coach" her with reasoning and  reproof.)

Thirdly, we need to be training our children often. Oh, this was enlightening! Proverbs 13:24 says, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him BETIMES." I had to look up that word! How interesting it was to discover that "betimes" means to be up at dawn or up early. We need to be earnestly working at our task. We need to search, with painstaking, for times when our children are foolish and need correction. Wow! This is yet another reminder of the importance of consistency.

Key #4: Why Should We Correct?

Maybe this is already obvious, but I want to quote several verses that speak to the benefits. We just read in Proverbs 13:24 that chastening our son shows our love, but sparing (refraining from the use of) the rod shows that we hate our children. What a foreign concept in our culture!

Proverbs 22:15 says, "The rod of correction shall drive [foolishness] far from him." After reading daily in Proverbs and seeing the perils of foolishness and the benefits of wisdom, I'm sure that I don't want foolishness to have any part of my child! Proverbs says that it is the rod that can drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:14 says, "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." Why does the rod show our love? Because we are literally snatching away our children from the grasping hands of death! 

Proverbs 29:15 says, "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." How many mothers we've seen who are ashamed of the deeds of their children! How many mothers are ruled by two-year-olds! How many mothers are brought to tears when their grown sons turn from God! I don't want to be one of them, do you? 

Some days, my little one's tears make me want to turn in my resignation as a mother. Who likes to see her little girl cry? Who likes to hear mournful wails from the bedroom? Maybe you men do better at correction than we women do, but I know I struggle with being the "bad guy" all day long. I want to close today's Bible study with a verse that helps me a lot: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die" (Proverbs 23:13)

And remember our verse from last week? "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). 

Recommended Book: To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl -- http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/

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