This article was originally written in reply to a dear mother of four young children.  She wanted to know how homeschool mothers DO it -- how they manage to homeschool, clean the house, go to doctor's and dentist's appointments and extracurricular activities, plus manage children who sometimes don't want to listen!  She said that her house looked like a natural disaster could be declared in it, and yet she didn't have the energy to tackle it right now.  She wanted to know how women managed it all and were still able to think clearly at night.  Well, I don't know how clearly I think at night (!), but this was my reply...

How do we do it? Well, I noticed from your signature that you have very young children -- 5, 3.5, 2 and 6 months. You SHOULD be tired, and you ARE doing it! Please be encouraged. Your little ones won't be little forever. It WILL get easier!

Homeschooling? Well, keep it really simple. At the age of 5, your daughter probably only needs the very basics, like learning to read and learning her numbers. Keep school as simple as you can and SHORT! :-) Ruth Beechick's The 3 R's Series is helpful for advice on keeping a balance. 

Cleaning house? I'm guessing that you feel like as soon as you clean it up, it gets messed up again. LOL! There probably isn't an easy solution for a house full of so many little ones, but here are a few things we tried just for the toys. We bought the cheap Sterilite plastic containers (see-through) from Wal-Mart, one for each kind of toy. We labeled each box and stuck them all in a closet. Some toys we just threw out -- we had too many! -- toys like Happy Meal things, puzzles with missing pieces, etc. We also gave some perfectly good toys away because again, we had too many. It's easier to clean up if you don't have too much stuff (not saying that's YOUR problem, lol! It sure is MINE, though!). Then -- here is the key... When your children ask for a toy to play with and you get down that box, don't get another box down until the first box is picked up and put away! This is easier said than done, especially if I get sidetracked on projects of my own. :-) Oh, I should note that at least with the Sterilite brand of containers, my kids your age cannot open the lids on their own, so that helps to control the mess. Finally, if several kids want to play with toys, and they each want something different, separate them -- one box in the living room, one in a bedroom, etc. Don't let those toys get mixed.

Okay, now let's talk about time. You can't help doctor's appointments and unexpected interruptions in your day, and if you've got four children, at this time of year with colds and flu, it can feel like you live at the doctor's office. Try to keep PLANNED appointments to just one certain day of the week -- say Thursdays, just for an example, then possibly plan to not have school on that day each week. Try to plan as many out-of-the-home appointments as you can, including shopping and lessons and play dates, for Thursdays, then do everything in your power to STAY HOME the other days. This one tip will help drastically. Of course, when sickness comes up, well, that's life. Just chuck the schedule! :-)

Now, chores. Everyone except your baby can do chores. In our house, everyone from the 1-year-olds to the 100-year olds does the following chores each day:

- Get dressed

- Put pajamas away

- Put dirty clothes away

- Make bed

- Brush teeth

- Fix hair

We do our chores right after breakfast. Sometimes I put on some fun music. If they are doing their chores too slowly, I will set a timer. If they don’t complete their chores within that reasonable amount of time, they know they will be disciplined.

I have to help the very youngest ones (2 and under for my house) do their chores. First I change their diaper. Then I help them walk to the garbage can to dispose of their diaper. Soon they enjoy doing it all by themselves. Next, I walk with them to the dresser for clean clothes and show them where to put their pajamas. Next, I help them tug and pull on their blankets, and I smooth the wrinkles out for them. I help them place favorite dolls and blankets on their pillows. (To make it easier for little ones to make their beds, I only use a fitted sheet -- not a top sheet -- with a comforter on top.) Then I walk with them into the bathroom and plop them on the counter and brush their teeth. As they get older, I let them have a turn holding the toothbrush when I am done. Finally, I brush their hair and show them where to put the brush or comb when I am done. You'd be surprised -- in no time at all, much younger than you'd think -- my kids can do all of these steps completely on their own. In the meantime, it takes no more than 5 minutes for me to walk through these steps with them, and what habits are formed! I expect that any potty-trained toddlers should also be able to dress themselves and do most of their chores without help.

For children who can’t yet read, I have placed a chore chart on the refrigerator (mine is made in Word -- I can send you one if you'd like). The kids “read” it every morning and do their chores in this order. By the time they are old enough to read, they’re in the habit of doing these chores first thing in the morning and don’t really need the chart any longer.

Okay, let me walk you through my day, not because it's anything super wonderful, but because maybe it will give you a place to start. Other's suggestions about fly lady would fit right into this little routine.

First, wake up about half an hour before everyone else. Don't think of it as punishment, LOL! Think of it as a reward -- time to yourself that you won't get any other way. Read your Bible, play online, do something fun. :-) It will get your mental attitude on the right page for the day.

Now, take a shower and get ready. I have a playpen for my little one, filled with about 5 fun toys (rotated every week or so). Your youngest could stay in a crib, your 2 year old in a play pen, require your 3 year old to stay in her room with quiet toys or maybe play with the 5 year old if you trust them. If you have a baby monitor, you could turn it on for your own peace of mind, but remember that they are learning valuable attention-span skills by being required to play by themselves for 30 minutes or so. Keep your shower short -- set a timer if you have to, to discipline yourself.

Next is breakfast. Begin teaching your kids to set the table. During breakfast, set a Godly mood in your home with sweet music, maybe a short Bible picture book story, and the rule -- no grumbling or whining or fighting. Those who break the rule must go to bed until their attitudes change. (By the way, the website A Trip to the Woodshed is fabulous!) When breakfast is over, each child is old enough to clear his own place and throw away any trash. Your oldest could wipe the table clean for you.

Then send everyone to do their chores. You take care of the youngest ones for 10 or 15 minutes, then do the dishes right away. Oh, this is important -- take anything out of the freezer that needs to defrost for supper!!! You might also want to change the kitchen towels, do a once-over on the bathroom sinks, make sure your own bed is made and laundry put away and the kids' chores were done correctly (mine slack on the laundry often). Maybe your 5 year old could vacuum just the living room or a main traffic area, not spic-and-span but just enough to catch the big chunks each morning, LOL! Then assign yourself one chore each day. Mine goes: Monday - vacuum whole house, Tuesday - dust (I use Swiffer dusters because they're quick), Wednesday - take out garbages, Thursday - clean toilets, Friday - change sheets, Saturday - mop kitchen (my hubbie is home to watch kids while the floor dries!). Total, my dishes and chores take me about 45 minutes, sometimes more, sometimes less. Don't allow too many toys out during this time. Keep toys simple because school time is next; you don't want a big mess!

Next do school. Let the little ones participate as much as they can. They LOVE it! Forget the house and devote your time to loving on your little ones.

Now it will be about lunch time. Feed them simply (I use paper plates) and not too much sugar -- gets them wired! :-) Simple in my house is usually a small PBJ sandwich, some veggies and dip, a small piece of cheese, and a small piece of fruit, plus water or milk to drink. Boring, but... Oh well, I guess I'm not very lively! :-) No dishes to clean either... ahhh! I soak any few dishes I happened to get dirty in a sink of sudsy water, and forget about them until after supper tonight.

Now you all need to rest. Train your kids to nap! Even your five year old could lie down with a book, a blanket and a doll, and I'd guess she'd fall asleep half the days. Since your baby is so young, I'd guess YOU'D sleep, too! :-) If you can find places in the house (living room couch, wherever), try to separate everyone so each is in their own sleeping place. They'll rest better that way. Rest needs to last at least 2 hours for the kids. Make it a rule that if they wake up, no getting out of bed or loud noises until YOU say nap time is over. YOU NEED IT! (...and so do they...)

The rest of our day is less structured, although I try to provide a small snack (raisins & cheese, etc.) right after naps, plus I try to have water cups available for them on the kitchen table. Start supper about an hour before you want to eat -- don't procrastinate. I set a timer to remind me, since I'd rather get a root canal than cook some nights. While you make supper, set the kids at the kitchen table and give them crayons and coloring books, or paint by number books. Keep them close to you, put some fun music on to keep the atmosphere light. This is "arsenic hour" in our house, with more-than-average boo-boos and tears and fights. Keep those kids close to you!

After supper, DO THE DISHES RIGHT AWAY and be sure you've got ready what you need for breakfast. Teach your oldest to sweep the floor for you -- even a bad job is better than not having it done at all, right? Stick them into the tub for a bath, read a good book while they play for a few minutes in the water LOL!, and then pajamas on and sit them on the couch next to Daddy for some "snuggle" time, and get them to bed early.

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you or made it sound like I have it all together. I certainly don't, but the days that I follow this routine go MUCH better than the days that I just wing it. Oh, two more suggestions: plan a menu once a week and stick to it, and look at the book, Managers of Their Homes.

Hugs to you! If I can help any more, let me know!

~Anne, mom to Arik (8), Kaitlyn (5), Andrew (3) and Kiersten (22 mo.) (as of this writing)

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